Good Vibes for Good Lives

Jason October 9th, 2006

This phrase is entirely too common. Along with it, goes, “I don’t think I could do that,” and “I’ve never been good at (insert attribute or ability here),” and countless others. These tend to appear when most people are presented with an opportunity to do something that they’re not normally accustomed to. Maybe it’s a leadership position in their club or church. Maybe it’s a new job or business opportunity. Maybe it’s said when presented with a way to solve a relationship problem by handling it a different way.

Regardless of the situation, the root source of these statements, I’ve found, are one of two things: Fear or Apathy. We’re either afraid of making the necessary changes, or afraid of the unknown. Or, conversely, we’re just not truly interested enough in producing the results we say we want to put forth the effort required.

As an entrepreneur, I’m a salesman. All entrepreneurs, ultimately, must have sales and promotion skills, as we’re constantly either promoting a thing or idea in order to grow our businesses, and lead our team members, employees, investors, or what have you.

I’m going to let you in on a big secret… when I started, I was not a salesman. I had a very negative view of sales, and was scared to death of rejection. However, I decided to become a salesman because I realized it was a mandatory requirement for me to fulfill my dreams. Let me share another big secret with you… very few people are “natural” salespeople. Some can naturally generate enthusiasm, but fail to close and follow through. Others can close a sale, but they fail to make a friend, and consequently fail to get the referrals essential to success in sales. The good news is, anyone can create in themselves the necessary personality or skills to do anything.

Now, I’m not suggesting that we need to totally go against the grain of our predisposition. But, if there’s something you’d like to have, or have happen, or not have happen anymore, it very well may require you to step out a bit.

Most of the time, the doctrine is to change. Either change your actions, habits, or even aspects of your root personality. But in most “personal development” material (particularly sales books) little is said about how to do it. Here’s a few ideas from my own experiences on how to start.

Let’s face it: We are what we are because that’s what we’re used to being. We’re comfortable operating in the personality and skill circles that we currently operate in. Generally, that’s because we’re gravitating toward characteristics that partially we’re born with, and partially were encouraged, either by someone who was important to us, or by positive results we received when we exercised those characteristics or skills. And, sometimes, we do not show other traits, or participate in certain activities, because of negative reinforcement we received when we did. It’s simply a matter of conditioning. It’s a mode of operation.

Here’s the great news: We all have what it takes within us to switch to another mode, when the need arises. What I mean is, picture yourself as the person who can do what you want to do. How do they talk? What do they look like? How do they interact with others? How do they approach the kind of challenges you may face? Be as detailed as possible in your description. Write it down, if you like, so you can refer to it later and add to the mental photograph of this capable person.

Now… do those things.

I know, it sounds over-simplified. It is. On purpose. Most things in life are just about as complicated or as simple as we expect them to be. I choose simple.

Have you ever seen in interviews with top actors how they describe “getting in to the character?” Or professional sports players talking about “getting in the zone?” It’s exactly the same thing. They are visualizing themselves as being the character, or being the MVP. They do it so much, and with practice, so effectively that they convince their subconscious mind that they are that person. Then, they can more effectively behave as, or produce the results of, the visualization.

Now, I must emphasize that this isn’t about faking yourself out, being a “poser,” or going pseudo-schitzo. All you’re really doing is learning to amplify or attenuate various aspects of your personality in order to shift yourself into a mode of operation that is more effective to a given situation.

Look at it like a personality toolset. You wouldn’t use a hammer to paint a wall.

• Personal Growth
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Jason September 27th, 2006

So, here’s the question that’s about as worn out as the pair of sneakers in the back of your closet that you never wear and really should part with, but just won’t: What is success, to you?

Pretty cliche, huh? Nonetheless, it’s one that needs answering. And, truthfully, the reason it may seem so worn-out is because for many of us the answer changes as we go along. It’s one of those life-things that, as you grow and experience more of life, evolves with you.

At risk of oversimplifying, here’s a couple simple ideas to get you started in painting the picture of your success:

Success = Happy.

Ultimately, success ought to feel good. Peroid. And to consistently maintain that, one requirement is that your success be holistic, meaning it’s well-rounded. Success gained one area of life at the sacrifice of another, on the long-term, probably isn’t going to achieve the ultimate results you really want. That’s not to say that being a little bit “out of balance” temporarily may not be required to feel out a situation of idea and determine if it fits in your picture. But, I don’t know too many people who consistently make a habit of having themselves out of whack who seem very happy or at peace.

Balance = Synchronized.

Whenever the topic of “being in balance” comes up, I always have to point out that the definition of “balanced” is entirely up to the individual. A “balanced” life for me may not be the same as a “balanced” life for you. Perhaps the term to use that might help with this, rather than “balanced”, is “synchronized.” That is, are the aspects of your life in tune with your inner balance equation? When we’re meeting our personal social, spiritual, recreational, family, financial, etc. expectations, we’re generally pretty happy.

In an ideal world, as we grow, we would grow completely synchronized with this equation. But, for most of us, we tend to overemphasize one area or another of our equation, and while we may grow in that area, we starve the others. Learning to synchronize is, in itself, part of the success journey.

• Personal Success
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Jason September 22nd, 2006

Let’s start with a very basic (but crucially important) concept here: What you think about becomes real. The more you think about it, the more of it you receive. Your thoughts create it, and bring it to you. The more energy and focus you apply to the thought, the more intense the effect.

So here’s the idea: What about our simple perceptions and observations about the world around us? Do these casual observations have the same effect?

The moment that an observation or perception is made by any of us, it becomes a thought, thus it becomes an act of creation, just like any other thought. The more you reinforce that same observation, the more it becomes a habit, or a general attitude. You’re creating, or drawing to you, exactly what you’re thinking about. So, whatever that perception that you hold of that person/place/thing/idea, the more it becomes that for you.

I meet so many people who want more money, but have a negative attitude about it, or about those who have it. So, before you start blaming your circumstances or the past fruits (or lack of fruits) of your labors for your current situation, check what your perception or ideas about money are. Or, your perceptions about what you’re doing in order to fulfill your goal of more money. Maybe they need altering.

Think of it this way… When you get around someone that has a gripe with you, resentment, or otherwise just plain doesn’t like you, you can tell, right? Most of us can. You just know that person, for whatever reason, just isn’t feeling your vibe. And, chances are, you looked for a way to move on to another situation, relationship, or just another part of the room as quickly as reasonably possible.

Positive attracts, negative repels. If you have an issue with money, then you’re sending out conscious or unconscious signals that you have a negative attitude about money. Thus, money is looking to get to the other side of the room as soon as it can.

Altering your perceptions to improve and attract positive results applies in every aspect of life. I frequently implement this with relationships (people) and situations. For instance, when dealing with “difficult” people, or strained relationships, I regularly experience very rapid transformations in how others respond by altering my perception of them. I choose not to observe the aspects of the person/situation that might be less-than-agreeable to me, and focus on the positive. I believe that by doing this, you’re actually creating two things: You’re bringing out what you feel is the best in that person or situation (if they’re open to it, of course), and you’re also strenghtening the element of that perception that is reflected in you. In other words, you help to improve the person/situation while simultaneously improving yourself!

Of course, this requires a certain amount of mental and emotional discipline until it becomes a habit. But it’s the discipline, which translates to character, which translates to positive results, that makes it worth it.

• Personal Growth , Self Discovery
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Jason September 20th, 2006

When it comes to following through on an idea, having a strong level of belief in the viability and potential of the idea is an obvious prerequisite for success. Most people have the ability to believe in an idea strongly for a period of time.

Unfortunately, for many, that period of time may amount to about three minutes. That’s usually the amount of time it takes for someone else to point out all the “problems” or challenges that may surround the idea. If you’re tough enough to make it through the doubters and move on it, inevitably something is going to happen to sway your confidence.

Now is where the rubber meets the road for personal belief. However, a dynamic of belief that leads to success is not only believing in what you’re doing, but also the knowledge that no matter what the current challenge, issue, loss, fear, doubt or failure you may be experiencing happens to be… it is temporary. Knowing that all circumstances are temporary can do wonders to keep you focused and moving on when times are less than ideal, as well as when you’re thinking that you’re all that and a bag of Fritos. As they say, “This too, shall pass.”

Besides, do you really want to go back to what you were doing, thinking, and feeling before you got the gumption to do the “something better” that you’re striving for? While at times it may look attractive to get warm and cozy in that blanket of mediocrity, just remember that when you started all this, the first thing you realized that it really wasn’t all that warm and cozy.

• Personal Growth , Personal Success
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Jason September 18th, 2006

I simply will not resist any longer. I know floating around in this cranium, I’ve got stuff to share.

So, let’s start with something that I’ve found myself doing a bunch lately, and that is writing down random thoughts. I’m convinced that everyone… and I mean everyone… has momentary flashes of brilliance. The question is, do we cultivate them? In a way, everyone is an Einstein and an Edison, a Socrates and a Plato, a Mozart and a Jimi Hendrix. We all think or say things from time to time that take our own breath away. But do we build on them?

You’ve heard it said the brain is a muscle. That means that all functions of the brain, from the structured to the creative, are all able to be developed, grown, and stretched. How do we do that? The same way you do a muscle… exercise. Hence, the analogy.

A good way to start exercising is to take the initiative to write down these little epiphanies as they happen. Have you ever noticed that these flashes tend to happen at a time when it’s not all that convenient to take the time to expand upon them? In the shower? On the way to work? At your kids’ softball game? While I’m not yet certain of the reason for that, I believe it is due, in part, to the mind being in a more relaxed state.

So, whatever you do, write it down, plug it into a Word document…whatever works for you. If my laptop is available, I use MacJournal for saving these kinds of thoughts. Otherwise, I carry index cards with me constantly. Get a small personal recorder to make verbal notes if you’re in the car, but be sure to review and write it down later. The simple act of writing things down increases our ability to not only remember those things, but to digest them more fully. By integrating the motor skill of writing with the thought, it’s like telling your subconscious mind, “Wow, that was great. Let’s do that some more.” Your subconscious will recognize the value you placed on that moment of inspiration if you consciously make the effort to acknowledge it. And, consequently, will work to deliver more. Exercise.

Then, review your notes regularly. Sooner than later, you will surprise yourself with some of the insights you’ve come up with. Expand upon them, if possible. Do not force it. If it doesn’t flow, let it go. If it”s valuable for you, it will come.

A big part of understanding the value of this practice comes with first understanding the value of yourself. Of your ideas. Of your potential. But, that’s another topic, for another day…

• Personal Growth , Personal Success , Self Discovery
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