Archive for the 'Self Discovery' Category

Stay Up! Now Get Some Sleep…

Jason December 20th, 2007

I’m one of those people who’s best thinking is often done at 11 PM or later. For whatever reason, that’s when inspiration tends to strike me. Unfortunately, it’s also when Captain Ramble-On-Forever and Dr. Philosophical-Discussion can strike, too. What can I say… it’s in my nature.I recently rescinded a post that I made on one such night at 3 AM. I couldn’t sleep, and had this big, profound, deep thought in my head, so I posted on it. There was nothing really wrong with the post, intellectually… But, I pulled it anyway.

Here’s why:

I got some personal comments like, “Wow, that’s pretty heavy,” and “Gee, I can tell you wrote this at 3 in the morning…”

So, I revisited the post… read it again. And they were right. It was ultra-intense. It was no-fun. And, it just plain didn’t fit the theme of this site.

Now, here’s the reminders:

• Always be aware of how you present yourself. Be consistent. And for heaven’s sake, be positive. This applies in all areas of life, whether in person, on a website, in your email… whatever. Find a groove that works for you and stick to it. If you’re doing anything on the web, always remember: Google can find it, and so can your customers.

• Don’t be afraid to correct yourself. If you find you’ve veered of course in the theme of your presentation for a moment, that’s cool. It means that you’re exploring other angles. But, if the angle isn’t right, doesn’t really fit, or is counterproductive, then fix it. If you can undo it, undo it. If you can’t, then be honest, suck it up, eat your crow, then make it right. Listen to the subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) cues from your readers, clientelle, etc. for hints. They will tell you, but usually not directly unless you ask.

• Wait until you’re well rested before you actually do anything public with things you think up at 3 in the morning.

Oh… and, of course…

• If you make a mistake, learn from it.

Purpose Beyond Priorities

Jason February 4th, 2007

It’s been over a month since my last post, which clearly indicates that this fellow is certainly not in the running for “most prolific blogger.” The good news is, the fact that it has been so long gives me a good point to discuss: Priorities.Blogging is something I do to share, and something I find interesting. It forces me to sharpen my perspective, while offering the opportunity to share those ideas with others. You see, when I did the previous posts I really looked hard at my personal purpose and goal lists, and “blog” was no where on there.

For me, blogging isn’t so much about density as it is about quality. As such, I’m extremely selective in which blogs, forums, etc. that I keep up with. While I’ve recently begun Paul Schele’s “Photoreading” course (amazing stuff - try it before you disregard it as nonsense), I’m currently a relatively slow reader. This means reading takes time, and lots of it. For me, reading is a priority, so I make time for it. But, it has to fit in with everything else, in proper proportion and balance.

Sometimes, I think personal development buffs allow themselves to get so focused on the preparation of personal development that they never actually implement any of the concepts, techniques, or other “stuff” that we learned. Personal development and blogging have both become very valuable industries to those who ultimately put the book down and apply what they learn to their own ventures. Let’s not allow ourselves to get so caught up in activity and “staying busy” that we forget about purpose.

I see people daily who are very busy going as fast as they can to no place in particular. You know the ones I mean. These folks forgot to review their purpose or goal list that morning. They’re involved in every activity, extra-curricular, club, social organization… you name it, under the sun, which is great. I’m a big believer in being involved with your community, church, family, schools, and so on. But there comes a point where, in trying to give 100% to everything, we can give 100% to nothing. We all can grow and stretch to do more, but we all need to know our current limits, too. It’s that balance thing again. Being a leader isn’t about being the leader in everything. It’s about being a leader in the things that are most important to you and your purpose. Besides, maybe the leadership role in that 4th or 5th volunteer association you’re a member of is the perfect training ground for a new, up and coming community leader. Give them that chance.

So, identify what your main purpose and/or goals are. Break it down… over the course of your life, in the next 20 years, next 10 years, next 5 years, next year, next month, next week, tomorrow. Use some of the techniques from my previous post. This may sound intimidating, and it should. It’s probably one of the most challenging things you’re going to do… determining what the heck you really want to do with your life. Just remember, you’re not locked in here on the super-long-term things… these can and will evolve.

The point is:
• Get focused on something.
• Determine the action steps required.
• Do them.

No magic formula here. This is what it takes, day by day. And doing it day by day is the secret. It’s been said the secret to your success is hidden in your daily routine. Whoever said that wasn’t lying. What’s your daily routine? How much of that activity is truly in line with your goals, outlined above? When you get honest about that, if you’re feeling a bit stunned, embarrassed, silly, or what-have-you… Remember:

It’s okay.
You’re not alone.
Now, fix it.

Look Inward, Not Outward, for Your Solution

Jason December 18th, 2006

We’ve often heard it said that we cannot really change others, we can only change ourselves. When you come right down to it, I believe this is the case. While we can sometimes influence others, ultimately, it’s up to them to make the decision to change. Additionally, we can only influence change in others inasmuch as we have the relationship, ability, and proper approach to relate to that particular person, and more importantly, they want to change in the first place.So, where does that leave us when we’re stuck? “Stuck” with difficult people or relationships… “Stuck” with financial issues… “Stuck” with whatever we think we’re stuck with…

You already know where I’m going with this, don’t you? The first thing we have to recognize is, 99.9% of our “problems” are caused by ourselves. Yup… suck it up. You did it. Why?

You have a habit, or collection of habits, that don’t really work for you. You just don’t know it yet. Over time, those habits you’ve retained have moved you into the place where you have to deal with the challenge you face.

Why do you have the habit? Because you like it. Because it’s comfortable. Because of some kind of emotional imbalance that started years ago when your mama criticized you in public, or when you got the snot beat out of you by cousin Charlie. Who knows… it could be any collection of patterns that have evolved in your personality. Call them emotional triggers, or behavioral ruts. Either way, they are patterns we have established because, up until now, they’ve worked.

But, maybe they’re not working anymore.

When in the face of adversity, do not become so focused on your percieved opponent that you lose focus of our own form. In other words, keep your cool, and stay focused on your objective. Many times, the easier path is to mould ourselves around the obstacle rather than move or attack the obstacle. The only way you will find your way around or through the challenge is to stay calm and relaxed. Once you get emotional about it, you’re chances of finding the best solution evaporate.
For me, it actually helps me stay calm when I continually recognize that whatever is coming into my life, good, bad, or indifferent, I asked for. There’s nothing to get mad about; you ordered it. Now, either eat it, or send it back. Your choice. Then, learn from it. Figure out why that issue came up, and what you can do to prevent it in the future.

Remember, that’s what difficulties are for… (no, it’s not just to drive you crazy.) They’re for learning. And only when we don’t learn and grow from them are they truly unfortunate.

Fear Is The Mind-Killer

Jason November 6th, 2006

Those of you who are “Dune” fans get it. Science-fiction aside, how true this statement is.
While “fear” in and of itself is a huge topic that I’m sure will be revisited, there’s one particular kind of fear I’d like to address now:

Fear of other people’s opinions.

Or, in more common terms, fear of what other people might think. As simple as this sounds, it’s one of the first stumbling blocks that most people encounter when they decide to engage on a path of personal growth and success. There are a myriad of reasons for this, both internal and external. The old “crabs in a bucket” analogy, of course, comes to mind.

Let me say I’m not of the mindset that we just shouldn’t care what anyone thinks. It’s just not that simple. However, we should only care what others think insofar as we don’t take it personally. Other people’s opinions must not negatively affect our self-esteem or sense of self-worth. That, in truth, is the source of our fear. As with all fears, the fear of others, or their thoughts, is a self-preservation reflex. It’s the old, “fight or flight” instinct.

When working to dissolve fears, remember the three “F”s. Fear, Fact, Faith… Fear is easily replacable by either of the other two.

In this case, the Fact is that ultimately, there’s nothing that another person’s attitudes or opinions can do to harm you, unless you allow them to. The Faith is, you have everything you need to fulfill your purpose within you, exactly as you are, and you’re already on your way.
But, let’s take the next step, beyond mere dissolution of the illusion of fear. Let’s turn it into something that actually helps us.

Economy is largely driven, in a sense, by people’s opinions. Their likes and dislikes, tastes, concepts, values, and so on. This goes back to my previous post about finding a way to serve. Find a need (or satisfy an opinion), and fill it. If you serve enough people, and organize that service into an industry, everyone wins. So, pay attention to criticism, but don’t harbor it. Take note of suggestion, but don’t take it personally. Be ready to recognize these signals of possible improvement in any situation.

Learn to recognize the difference between constructive criticism, and just plain nastiness. Remember, most of the time, when someone is verbally attacking you, they’re really attacking an aspect of themselves that they may percieve in you that is being reflected back to them. (Ya… that’s a big one, for expansion in another post.)

The point is, maintain your center, and observe. Everyone around us is a teacher and a master in disguise. From all situations, we can learn, grow, and apply that knowledge to pursue even greater success in our endeavours. And, most of what we learn from managing criticism is how to maintain our calm confidence in the face of adversity… and that’s a big, important lesson that anyone can improve upon.

People, period.

Jason October 18th, 2006

I am not of the mindset that we shouldn’t care what anyone else thinks. I just don’t care what people who don’t care about me think about me. LOL… what a sentence. Otherwise, I think it’s pretty important that we pay attention to the opinions, thoughts, and feelings of others. They are signals pointing out opportunities for us to serve, and a service-mentality is key to all kinds of success, particularly financial.

We are built to interact with other people, and if we plain don’t care about other’s thoughts, opinions, feelings, etc, our relationships probably aren’t going to work out so well. Remember: Success=Happy. And because we’re built to live in harmony with others, at least at some level, People become a big part of the “Happy.” How many people do you know without at least some strong, nourishing relationships that are very happy?

Now, for the dollars and cents of it: Money is simply an expression of our relationships. Joan Sotkin at ProsperityPlace.com does a great job in her podcast illustrating this principle. The more people we serve and interact with, the more money comes to us as a natural byproduct. Money is simply exchanged because you cared enough about what someone else thought, wanted, or needed, and then provided some kind of service that filled that desire. Want more money? Find a way to fill a gap. Find something that people want, and they will pay you for it. Find a big gap, and fill it in a big way, and they’ll pay you big for it. It’s a pretty simple equation.

Change your perceptions, change your results.

Jason September 22nd, 2006

Let’s start with a very basic (but crucially important) concept here: What you think about becomes real. The more you think about it, the more of it you receive. Your thoughts create it, and bring it to you. The more energy and focus you apply to the thought, the more intense the effect.

So here’s the idea: What about our simple perceptions and observations about the world around us? Do these casual observations have the same effect?

The moment that an observation or perception is made by any of us, it becomes a thought, thus it becomes an act of creation, just like any other thought. The more you reinforce that same observation, the more it becomes a habit, or a general attitude. You’re creating, or drawing to you, exactly what you’re thinking about. So, whatever that perception that you hold of that person/place/thing/idea, the more it becomes that for you.

I meet so many people who want more money, but have a negative attitude about it, or about those who have it. So, before you start blaming your circumstances or the past fruits (or lack of fruits) of your labors for your current situation, check what your perception or ideas about money are. Or, your perceptions about what you’re doing in order to fulfill your goal of more money. Maybe they need altering.

Think of it this way… When you get around someone that has a gripe with you, resentment, or otherwise just plain doesn’t like you, you can tell, right? Most of us can. You just know that person, for whatever reason, just isn’t feeling your vibe. And, chances are, you looked for a way to move on to another situation, relationship, or just another part of the room as quickly as reasonably possible.

Positive attracts, negative repels. If you have an issue with money, then you’re sending out conscious or unconscious signals that you have a negative attitude about money. Thus, money is looking to get to the other side of the room as soon as it can.

Altering your perceptions to improve and attract positive results applies in every aspect of life. I frequently implement this with relationships (people) and situations. For instance, when dealing with “difficult” people, or strained relationships, I regularly experience very rapid transformations in how others respond by altering my perception of them. I choose not to observe the aspects of the person/situation that might be less-than-agreeable to me, and focus on the positive. I believe that by doing this, you’re actually creating two things: You’re bringing out what you feel is the best in that person or situation (if they’re open to it, of course), and you’re also strenghtening the element of that perception that is reflected in you. In other words, you help to improve the person/situation while simultaneously improving yourself!

Of course, this requires a certain amount of mental and emotional discipline until it becomes a habit. But it’s the discipline, which translates to character, which translates to positive results, that makes it worth it.

Whoops, I’m doing it again…

Jason September 18th, 2006

I simply will not resist any longer. I know floating around in this cranium, I’ve got stuff to share.

So, let’s start with something that I’ve found myself doing a bunch lately, and that is writing down random thoughts. I’m convinced that everyone… and I mean everyone… has momentary flashes of brilliance. The question is, do we cultivate them? In a way, everyone is an Einstein and an Edison, a Socrates and a Plato, a Mozart and a Jimi Hendrix. We all think or say things from time to time that take our own breath away. But do we build on them?

You’ve heard it said the brain is a muscle. That means that all functions of the brain, from the structured to the creative, are all able to be developed, grown, and stretched. How do we do that? The same way you do a muscle… exercise. Hence, the analogy.

A good way to start exercising is to take the initiative to write down these little epiphanies as they happen. Have you ever noticed that these flashes tend to happen at a time when it’s not all that convenient to take the time to expand upon them? In the shower? On the way to work? At your kids’ softball game? While I’m not yet certain of the reason for that, I believe it is due, in part, to the mind being in a more relaxed state.

So, whatever you do, write it down, plug it into a Word document…whatever works for you. If my laptop is available, I use MacJournal for saving these kinds of thoughts. Otherwise, I carry index cards with me constantly. Get a small personal recorder to make verbal notes if you’re in the car, but be sure to review and write it down later. The simple act of writing things down increases our ability to not only remember those things, but to digest them more fully. By integrating the motor skill of writing with the thought, it’s like telling your subconscious mind, “Wow, that was great. Let’s do that some more.” Your subconscious will recognize the value you placed on that moment of inspiration if you consciously make the effort to acknowledge it. And, consequently, will work to deliver more. Exercise.

Then, review your notes regularly. Sooner than later, you will surprise yourself with some of the insights you’ve come up with. Expand upon them, if possible. Do not force it. If it doesn’t flow, let it go. If it”s valuable for you, it will come.

A big part of understanding the value of this practice comes with first understanding the value of yourself. Of your ideas. Of your potential. But, that’s another topic, for another day…